In this episode titled, Two's A Crowd, Mike and Archie are trapped for the night in the basement, downing a bottle of booze and as the booze soaks in they begin to talk, mostly about why Archie is so prejudice against people who are different. Mike is stunned when Archie reveals that his father was a very abusive man who corrected Archie by hitting him and locking him in the closet for days at a time. Yet, Archie defends his father none-the-less.
Please watch this entire episode to get the full impact!
This powerful episode shows us that it takes a rare moment to become vulnerable, to really let our guard down and become emotionally transparent. We get a glimpse how powerful shame is and how it can literally be the fuel for our entire world view.
What drives our core beliefs? Archie reveals how powerful shame can be acting as the rudder in his life to guide all his views. Note how hard it is for Archie to stand outside his relationship with his father and examine the data objectively. This is the power of shame!
Many religious beliefs uphold honoring father and mother, but shame causes this view to become very imbalanced to protect an abusive parent because it is easier to be abused than the face the disappointment of an abusive parent. This is not rational or logical which is why so many debates are only a way to make one feel empowered and an activity of vanity. It is highly emotional, and many men would rather take a bullet than face the emotional pain buried in shame.
The result is to carry shame as an identity as one who must have deserved being abused because if your father in this case is to love you, he must have hit Archie out of love. This is how a warped view of love is passed to the next generation. Archie did not act out towards his daughter Gloria, (if he had a son this might have been different) but the shame was still embedded within, so Archie took his abuse out on others, namely Mike and felt empowered by degrading other races.
Archie never dealt with his shame story, so facing the truth of his father as Mike confronts him, telling Archie his father was wrong causes Archie to defend his father's actions. Note Archie's reaction and how he still clings to protecting his father. If you ever have seen the movie Warrior, you will see a similar scene of how the younger son is only comfortable with his father as an angry drunk. When his father sobers up he sees him as weak. At this stage of the dysfunction, he cannot handle his father as kind and gentle. It is not until his father drinks again, goes into an angry rage that the role of being abused and comforting his drunk father becomes something he relates to. This is how warped shame can become.
Archie would rather see his father as strong and take the abuse (even to the point of seeing this is how to become a man or defining masculinity) than seeing his father was really a very weak man. This is probably the most difficult thing for a child to face, and why many abused people will protect the abuser.
Mike's relationship of Archie is transformed when he understands Archie was abused as a boy at the hand of his father. Actor Rob Reiner masterfully reacts to Carol O'Conner's epic performance making this easily one of the most powerful scenes ever in both TV or Film.
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